So today, I was at home, which made it a much better day than yesterday just on that count alone. I had hoped/planned to just sleep in, but alas I was up at 5:00 a.m. and unable to get comfortable. I moved to my recliner but still had no luck, so I just stayed up until Walter had gone to work. I took my fasting blood sugar and got very discouraged. Jasper made me a lovely breakfast, and by the time I finished eating it, I was ready for my first nap of the day.
Afterwards, I had to track down my last two prescriptions. The doctor had specifically said he was prescribing an antibiotic and a blood pressure medication, but when Walter went to get my prescriptions yesterday, those two were missing, and I knew I needed them. So I had to call the doctor’s office and negotiate with his secretary, who obviously thought that I hadn’t really looked through my papers. Eventually, though, the prescriptions were called in and Walter was able to pick them up this evening.
Lucy made us a great lunch and another flower arrangement arrived from 4-H and delivered by one of my favorite 4-H-ers. I now have four lovely flower arrangements and they smell heavenly!
After lunch, of course, it was time for nap number two, only shortly after I lay down I received a phone call from an unfamiliar area code. To my delight, it was my Aunt Lori calling from Maui! I love my aunts. My aunts are fabulous. My two maternal aunts live in Tennessee and Oregon, and I get to see them on rare occasions, but my dad’s sister lives in Hawaii and I have seen her only a couple of times in my adult life, the last time being in 2004. Still, she has a special place in my heart and I was so thrilled to hear her voice.
I may have mentioned this before, but I’m going to mention it again. When I came to this country at the age of 17, I was deeply traumatized. I was buried under a mountain of grief that I wasn’t even aware of. I did not even once stop to think that I might be suffering from severe clinical depression. I just thought that life was what it was, and that I’d never smile or laugh again. I arrived in the middle of the school year and was put into a dorm room with three other girls before my mom left to go back to Zambia. My roommates were sweet and kind (well, two of them were) but they had no framework in which to put my situation. I don’t think they had any concept of what I’d lost and why I was so sad.
Shortly after I arrived, my Aunt Lori called on the phone. Each room had one phone and could only take incoming calls or collect calls if outgoing. Aunt Lori told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to, to call her collect. Any time of the day or night, she’d accept my call. I thought it was so sweet of her to offer, but I did not believe I’d ever call. I was and am real big on “toughing it out.”
Well, guess what? The day came where I was at the end of my rope and felt that I had nowhere to turn. I dragged a chair into the closet, dialed my aunt’s number, and closed myself in the darkness. This was the only way to have a private phone conversation in a room with four girls. My aunt answered so cheerfully, and I kind of came unglued. I know I cried and talked for well over an hour. My aunt mostly just listened sympathetically and patiently. She offered encouragement when she could get a word in edgewise, but mostly she just listened. Oh, what a comfort that was! Sometimes, the best thing in the world is just to be able to pour your heart out to someone in total safety.
I only called my aunt one more time while I was there, but again it was cathartic and healing. Even though nothing changed about my situation, I felt loved and cared for, and I needed that so badly. I’m telling you this not to brag on my aunt, but to remind everyone that sometimes just being a willing, sympathetic, and patient listener can truly be life-changing for someone else. We’re all so busy checking stuff on our cell phones these days that having someone really listen to you, and know that no matter what you say it will be okay–that is special gift. I try hard to be a good listener, because you never know when it will really mean a lot to someone else.
So anyway, the rest of the day was filled with pleasant visits. My dear friend Robin came to bring supper and then stayed to visit. While I was still enjoying my time with her, my friend Connie showed up to drop her daughter off to visit Lucy, so I got to chat with Connie for a few minutes too. Connie used to be my neighbor but doesn’t live here anymore, so it is a big treat any time I get to see her.
We had lovely dinner that I didn’t have to lift a finger for, and then when I went to rest afterwards, I got a phone call from my brother Matt! So, although the day has had its share of pain and discomfort and discouragement, it has also had a lot of blessing. I can live with that!