In Which a Malfunction Leads to a Fez Sighting

This was not a banner day for our household. It got off to a rough start when I took my brand new phone off the charger, pressed the power switch, and nothing happened. Nothing whatsoever. Then Jasper and I got into the car to go to Walmart this morning, and guess what? The car did not start. We had to take the van.

While we were at Walmart, Walter got up, saw the car in the driveway, and realized it must be in distress. He checked it out but could not find the cause of the problem. The car is still nonfunctional. Walter also was unable to get one of his two lawnmowers going, which meant a harder day of work for him and Spencer.

Meanwhile, as Jasper and I drove up to Walmart, we passed various groups of university students on the sidewalk, and realized that today must be the day–the day that some incoming freshman have to walk or run all the way to Walmart as part of their initiation.

In the store, I happened on a woman who was so puzzled as to what all the young men were doing in front of the store. I took it upon myself to explain to her. She was gobsmacked. “You mean to tell me,” she said, “that those boys came all the way from over there (pointing south toward the university) to here on foot?” It’s an 5.7 mile hike, so I understand her amazement.

I spent much of the day trying to figure out if there was a way to resurrect my phone. I got back on the Verizon website and once again found myself chatting with a cheery customer service person. I followed her directions exactly, several times over, only to have my phone do a great impression of a shiny ceramic tile.

When not tearing my hair out over the phone issue, I practiced my autoharp and worked on projects and actually got at least some stuff done. I was interrupted at one point by a knock on the front door. I opened it to find two young girls of maybe 13 or so. I knew they wanted something, but I never would have guessed what it was.

First, they earnestly told me that they were members of a Church of Christ church. Then they explained that they were raising money to get their uncle out of jail. He was a good man, they said, and innocent. He just happened to be with the wrong people at the wrong time. Could I please donate to this worthy cause? I did not donate to the cause. And this little encounter should give you a pretty good idea of what kind of neighborhood we live in.

When Walter and Spencer returned from their day’s labors, I appropriated the van and drove up to Best Buy in hopes of getting help with my phone. They tried what I had already tried, pronounced it dead, and explained that they are just middlemen and I would have to go to Verizon to get my phone replaced. Grrr.

I drove down to the new Verizon store and waited a long time in the very futuristic and high tech store. That’s where I saw the guy wearing plaid shorts and a red fez. I’m fairly certain he is a Dr. Who fan, but I saw no need to point this out publicly. I just entertained myself by watching his tassel toss about every time he moved his head.

Eventually, my name was called and once again the person tried the same thing that I had tried and Best Buy had tried, and with the same results. The tech person told me that this problem is distressingly common with this brand of phone. That didn’t make me feel any better. I chose a bad phone! My phone was pronounced DOA (defective on arrival) and I was promised a new one. The only trouble was that they were completely out of stock.

The tech person called to another Verizon store in a nearby town and told them I’d be coming to get my phone from them. I knew I wouldn’t have time to go get it till Monday, so I got the phone number and called them from our home phone (not having any other options). I was put on hold repeatedly for long periods of time. It turns out that store didn’t have any of the right kind of phone in stock either, so it will be coming in the mail. I hope. Meanwhile, I am phoneless.

By the time I got back from my fruitless errand, I was ready to forget my troubles and have a nice dinner with my husband. We drove out to the place that has some Indian food. I cheated just a little on the gluten and guess who has a massive headache and upset stomach now? Sometimes I am amazed at my own stupidity.

I am also feeling kind of sorry for my brain. Despite my proven stupidity, I am currently trying to learn two new and challenging software programs, learn to play a new instrument, and learn to use new technology–all at once. Sometimes my brain just kind of freezes up and whimpers quietly as I try to remember all that new stuff in addition to basic information like what day it is and whether I need to buy more sour cream (the answer to that is no).

One thought on “In Which a Malfunction Leads to a Fez Sighting

  1. “Man walks down the street in that hat, people know he’s not afraid of anything.”-Wash
    That’s awesome! Not many people in Longview would feel like showing their affection in that manner! It would have been perfect if he had been wearing a bow tie too… Sorry about the phone; hope it gets sorted out soon.


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